In memoriam
I have just been appointed a trustee of our local hospice, who are a local charity providing care for anyone with a life-limiting illness. I was asked to come onto the board to offer a perspective as someone with experience of ministry in the community, involved in the spiritual and social care of people from all sorts of backgrounds. Those aspects of care are often the last to be addressed, because physical, mental and emotional needs are often more urgent, but they are important.
I join at a time when there are some difficult questions facing those involved in palliative care. Attitudes towards dying and death, and the practices and rituals surround them, are changing. Discussions about euthanasia, for example, are gathering pace in the UK, which will have a profound impact on how we care for those who are terminally ill.
One of the other major changes we are seeing is the rise of direct cremation as a way to humanely and lawfully dispose of mortal remains. This involves little or no ceremony – no funeral per se – and leaves family or friends having to find other ways to process grief and loss. I do feel that it is important to acknowledge our spiritual and social needs in these cases too: not just the practicalities of dealing with a body, but affirming the gift of life in that person and their legacy to those around them.
Sometimes there are opportunities to acknowledge these needs in other ways. Perhaps in a charity event in memory of a loved one, a memorial service, or a visit to places that were special to them. Historically, we would ring in memoriam not necessarily at the time of the funeral, but in specially arranged performances at other times, a practice that is becoming more common again and I think should be encouraged.
In caring for the dying, spiritual and social needs can sometimes be given more attention, as we are unable to meet physical or mental needs any longer. But they are important in all aspects of our care. Friday 5th July is the anniversary of the foundation of the National Health Service, as well as being the day after a General Election, and so it is perhaps a good day to remember that we are called to care for each other in all aspects of our lives. Let us encourage one another in doing so.
Max Drinkwater